Your Most Valuable Bear for the Winter Season is… The Juggernaut, Julie Therminy.
The first LVB on the new decade is actually a tie. And this particular tie would not be a shock if it was for MVB, but it is for the lowly LVB this time… The great Bo Rankin and the great-cussing Eli “Crimedog” Jordan are your winners.
The Spradlin Award goes to Bo Rankin for his career low batting average of 333.
The Drake Award goes to Big Matt Honza for his 3 errors. I’m not sure if these can actually be considered errors as much as outfield indifference, but we’ll give it to Big Matt anyway.
Enjoy the short off-season and the guest-columns over the next few weeks. In the meantime, please let me know when you will pay for Spring Softball and comment on any crap you’d like.
1. Julie- .600 avr despite her big titter
2. Wagnon-ran into fence, big hitter
3. Jimmy-in his slacks a smuggled critter
4. Dennis-kinda cold he wore a switter
5. Big Matt-despite his glove an outfield quitter
6. Softball Jesus-probably prays on twitter
7. Jeffrey-probably preys on twitter
8. Gary-a little known fact, he is a nitter
9. The Matt-really likes a good apple fritter
10. Poochie-#10 like Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vidder
11. Scooter-on the field his errors are litter
12. Nick-after strikeouts hes a sitter
13.Clint-says as much as John Ritter
14.James-on his hand he wears a tiny mitter
15.Wallis-waited till marriage to make his penis flitter
16. Kabby-see that grand slam, take that Hitler
17. Howie-I like to think all his t-shirts are stained pitters
18.Jake-dated Julie, didn’t getter
19. Crimedog-a season in the shitter
20. Josh-jacked it to Joyce DeWitter
21. Tim B-perfect hitter
22. Lance-when hes on top Debra jitters
23. Colby-Jimmy knows he married his sister, doesn’t like to think he has sex witter
24. Peters-5 kids, patter pitter
25. Alan-in 1952 he saw Glenn Miller
26. Checkeye-secret half-shirt that says “Stummy” with an arrow down bedazzled with sequins and glitter
27. Ashley-so cute yet such a great splitter
28. Bo-season so bad he drew a pentagram in cock blood while skiing and killed a drifter.
Here is how the next few weeks are going to play out… we will spend the rest of this week giving out awards and wrapping up the greatness of winter league. (Please note that anyone who didn’t want to play winter league these past 2 years is missing out on the most fun season of the year. Fact). After we have that crap wrapped up, it will be guest columns and stories from DaBears road trips until we begin to look ahead to the spring season.
Now on to today’s business.
If you haven’t paid me for spring yet – Please mail me your money as soon as possible. And, please add the football playoff pool and winter league money for those of you who still owe that.
Stats are up. Check them out and vote for the winter league MVB on the stat orgy page.
Now discuss the greatness of winter league, awards, movies, politics, Super Bowl or whatever the hell else you would like to talk about…
Another great season is in the book for DaBears and this time it is another 2nd place finish. Thanks to everyone who helped make this season another blast for DaBears Nation, especially Tim, Gary, Dennis, Julie and Ashley. Now lets take a look at some highlights and fun facts:
Dave remains tied in the record books with Nick with 24 strikeouts
DaBears have now captured the elusive 2nd place trophy 7 times this millennium
Unfortunately for the fans, we had a lot more walks than strikeouts, but Eli, Gary and The Matt did manage to give the crowd something to cheer about
Jimmy and Big Matt made an amazing Bosom Buddies catch in the last inning
Kabby had the most impressive start to a decade ever as he hit a grand slam in his first at bat, and hit a second homer later in the game
Other home run hitters included: Wagnon (2), Wallis (2), Big Matt, Scott, Clint, and Nick
The official scorer has issued an assist for Scooter on a play in the second game that was originally scored an error on a Kabby grounder that went off his glove to Nick who fired to Checkeye for a Bears-assist force out.
The official scorer has also issued a single for Nick instead of his 3rd inning pop-out when Gary was a big bully behind the plate
Josh made a hell of a play at 3rd Base to rob his big brother of a hit
Jimmy made a hell of a play at shortstop to rob a girl of a hit
Please add any highlights that I have missed in the comment section.
Also – I will send an email to anyone who hasn’t paid for the Spring Season yet… Please get me your money as soon as possible so I can get us signed up.
I have the 7:50 game lineup posted in the right hand column, but now it’s time for another whacky player-man (and woman) draft. This time it is for one game only – Monday night at 8:40. Here are the eligible players. The 2 captains have already started drafting, so I will recap it and then they can continue at their leisure throughout the day.
1. Caleb – I love the fact that you defend wearing the helmet (which I have no problem with but it still looks funny) by saying,” We have had a guy knocked out cold and sent to the ICU on a throw from shortstop to first.” The strange thing is your team was the one throwing the ball and Tony was the one hit was hit in the temple. That being said please keep looking at the site and posting we welcome all, even your fans who were the best fans I have ever seen. They didn’t make fun of us for getting killed and they didn’t cheer you because they figure its just slow pitch softball.
2. Dennis – He has played in the church leagues since the Old Testament was the New Testament and now these guys claim he doesn’t know where to stand on the bag to take a throw. Jesus.
3. Big Matt – .600 fielding percentage, doesn’t care about defense. Probably a dirty liberal
4. Gary – Umpires although blind and quick to anger, can serve a purpose
5. Wagnon – 4 base error, wow
6. Jimmy – the Caleb of the Bears
7. Julie – hitting a man’s ball really well, and taking it too. With 2 walks.
8. Jeffrey – “Global warming is bullshit, I’m going skiing.”
9. Scooter – teaching kids today how to put on a condom. He teaches ESOL( English as a second language)
10. Poochie – Didn’t play this week, afraid TIVOmight screw up and not record “Idol”
11. The Older Matt – getting close to 1000 hits in his softball career
12. Howie – getting close to 1000 hits in his acid career
13. Softball Jesus - why aren’t there any mosque teams?
14. Nick – You can’t spell “Nick Heizer Strikeout King” without 3 k’s.
15. Jake – the best Rankin ever, this year.
16. Crimedog – missed this week to work on batting stroke and on Tuesday practiced slamming his glove into his Billy Martin replica locker.
17. Ashley – so cute yet so splitsy
18. Paul Checkeye – until I see your half shirt with no undershirt this is as high as you are getting. Also quit playing like shit.
19. Bo – take this time off to gather your thoughts and reel in the losers in front of you
To those of you not mentioned Tim B, Josh, Clint, Lance, Peters and Chris of Pleasant Ridge Black you need to play more or do more to get noticed.
DaBears shock PR Black by run-ruling them in back-to back games!
Great hitting all the way around led to the dominating victories. Highlights of the night included:
-No strikes being called at all by the umpire… That is a record.
-Jimmy and Howie are now the best pitching battery in softball
-Scott “Softball Jesus” Austin was angry
-Big Matt is funny and intimidating
-No Bears struck out, so that is disappointing
-Julie “The Juggernaut” Therminy continued to dominate mens slow pitch softball
-Bo Rankin is one lucky MF
Please add more highlights in the comment section…
Lineups have been adjusted due to the following injuries and additions:
Wagnon is celebrating his birthday by putting himself on the injury report for tonight. Pray for him
Lance has a knee situation that is keeping him out tonight
Crimedog is pulling play-by-play duty tonight
Peters is being activated off the DL and actually sent me a message saying that “he wants to get in on this strikeout stuff”… that is why he is cooler than you.
Josh Honza is making his 2010 debut tonight… I picture Rocky when he has the Clubber Lang flashbacks as Josh strolls to the plate tonight.
Please give your thoughts on tonight’s games, DaBears injury report, the A-Team or any other crap you’d like to talk about?
1) Tim Bagget-one for one and two walks then retires. Also thinks Eli is too “churchie”.
2) Gary(up 4 spots)-hitting great Gary… remember me on Labor Day. Wink.
3) Jeffrey(up 11)-clutch homer, he is like an all white Derek Jeter that has seen Howie screw
4) Wagnon-The Big Hurt does it again. Another injury.
5) Scooter(down 4)-He was thrown out of the second game, and we came back to lose by 10. Great job guys
6) Poochie-If you don’t like Poochie then you are a friend of mine
7) Big Matt(down 5)-I think he tried a little harder this week and played little worse, stay within yourself you giant son of a bitch
8) Julie(up 3)-”The Juggernaut” likes a .571 average and a guy that talks with his mouth full
9) Dennis(down 6)-He is wondering why the fuck he agreed to play with us
10) The Greatest Living Matt in DaBears History-solid play, doughy gut
11) Clint “The Edge” Lee(down 4)-didn’t play due to his scheduled Fantasy League Debate Team-the Towne Criers facing their rivals Thomas Jefferson’s Nasty Secret.
12) Jimmy(up 8)-big week for the Reilly boys, each sat a game and were the big movers of the week. And we got our ass kicked in those games, good thinking
13) Lance(down 4)-once part of the hated Rednecks team and now just is one, circle of life I guess
14) Softball Jesus-should be higher, will be higher. If not he is one of three people on the team going to Heaven
15) Crimedog-not many people hit the ball as hard on base hits, and nobody hits the dugout fence and bench on outs as hard. Hopefully he makes amends with his God and his God’s son for using their names in what I like to think is in vain. My personal favorite “God damn motherfucking-damn it”. Poetry.
16) Bo(down 8)-has marriage caught up with him?
17) Nick-You sir are my favorite player on the team, I am devoting an entire article to you Thursday
18) Jake-not awful, not good
19) Checkeye(down 7)-Like Julie not as charming with a full shirt on. 3 winter league games and 5 strikeouts, even Josh Honza laughs at that shit.
20) Howie(down 4)-I never count Howie out, he could be zero for nine on the night and get a game winning hit. You gotta love him.
DaBears win a fun game in extra innings against a bunch of guys that are just out there to have fun, and then lost to a bunch of dueche-bags that take 250’ fence winter league softball way too serious.
Here are some highlights:
Tim Baggett announced his retirement immediately after posting an average that can not be beaten. His quote was “try and top that, Wagnon”!
Speaking of hot heads… Scooter and Eli are softball hot heads. Somehow though, it was Scooter that racks up the first ejection of the new decade and not the way over the top, angry, ranting, cussing Crimedog.
Jimmy is probably the most dominant pitcher in the game right now as he struck out 5 Mixed Nuts player men.
Checkeye struck out 3 times, Nick and Crimedog twice, and Scooter did once
DaBears are on pace for 200 strikeouts as a team this year!
Poochie, Wagnon, Jeffrey and Crimedog hit homers
Nick is putting up numbers that nobody will ever top. In just 3 years, he has managed to tie Dave Stanton’s record of 24 slow-pitch softball strikeouts. It took Dave 20 years to do what Nick has done. We look forward to the next 17 years of Nick’s career with DaBears.
We hope to have an official statement from Dave Stanton sometime today.
Go ahead and give us your thoughts on Nick’s amazing feat, on DaBears strikeout epidemic in general, on taking the game of softball too serious, or on SPORTS!
